Some people seemed to be
blessed (or cursed) with
animal magnetism. I happen to be one of those people.
You know, the kind of person that animals are
attracted to. If there is a lost or stray
critter anywhere in my neighborhood, he will invariably
find his way to my door. I don't understand why I have
"animal magnetism" but I guess it's for a reason.
It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!
Life Lessons Learned From A
If you stare at someone long
eventually you'll get what you want.
Don't go out without an ID,
you get lost your person will cry.
Be direct with people, let
them know exactly
how you feel by urinating on their shoe.
Leave room in your schedule
for a good nap.
Always give people a friendly
Never get caught with your
head in the toilet.
When you do something wrong,
always take responsibility,
(as soon as you are dragged out from under the bed)
If it's not wet and sloppy,
it's not a real kiss.
Always hit the paper.
Always pretend to love the
love that cat!"
When God made the earth and
the flowers and the trees,
He then made all the animals,
the fish, the birds, the bees.
And when at last He'd finished,
not one was quite the same.
He said I'll walk this world of mine
and give each one a name.
And so he traveled far and wide
and everywhere he went,
little creature followed him
until its strength was spent.
When all were named upon the earth
and in the sky and sea,
The little creature said, "Dear Lord,
there's no name left for me!"
Kindly the Father said to him,
"I've left you to the end,
I've turned my own name back to front
and called you Dog, my friend."
If the above tell a friend doesn't
work please use this one: