For Men Only


How many men does it take to open a beer? None.
 It should be opened by the time she brings it.



Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them
to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about
to say something smart?
 When she starts her sentence with
 "A man once told me . . ."

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

If your dog is barking at the back door
and your wife is yelling at the front door,
 who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.


What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
 A woman that won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?  Divorced.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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