When actions creak louder than words.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom.
Sometimes age comes alone.
Forget the health food.
I need all the preservatives I can get.
God grant me the senility to forget the
people I never liked anyway...
The good fortune to run into the ones I do...
And the eyesight to tell the difference!
I am sitting here thinking how nice it
is that wrinkles don't hurt.
I've gotten to the age where I need my
false teeth and hearing aid before I can
ask where I left my glasses.
It's no longer a question of staying healthy.
It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
My mind not only wanders,
sometimes it leaves completely.
Middle age is when you burn the
midnight oil around 9:00 pm.
One evening, two old men from a retirement home
were sitting on the front porch of the retirement home.
One man said to the other old man, "You know, Albert,
if you think about it, we are not that old.
I mean, my memory is still very good."
As the man said this, he knocked on the wooden chair
beside him. "Actually, as sharp as ever."
After a couple minutes of silence, the first man
started to talk again, "So, is anyone going to get
the door, or do I have to do it?"