10 ADVANTAGES OF GROWING OLD 

1. Your joints are more accurate than the 
    National Weather Service.

2. Kidnappers ignore you.

3. Sexual harassment charges against you just don't stick.

4. People no longer think you're a hypochondriac.

5. Your secrets are now safe with your friends because
    they can't remember them either.

6. Your eyes won't get much worse.

7. You're no longer expected to run into a burning building.

8. Whatever you buy now won't wear out.

9. In a hostage situation, you're likely to be released first.

10. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.