The Little Green Snake
GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...
Snakes also known as Garter Snakes
(Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous.
Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.
A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants.
During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was
hidden in one of the plants.
When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the
wife saw it go under the sofa.
She let out a very loud scream.
The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into
the living room naked to see what the problem was.
She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him
on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him,
so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
His wife thought he had a heart attack,
so she covered him up, told him to lie still
and called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests,
loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.
About that time, the snake came out from under the
sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and
dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke
his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house,
so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture
the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper
and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it
was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions,
where she felt the snake wriggling around.
She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.
The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out,
tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping
at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the
woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back
of the head with a bag of canned goods,
knocking him out and cutting his scalp
to a point where it needed stitches.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint
and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his
wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake
had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle
of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now, the police had arrived.
They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey,
and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred.
They were about to arrest them all, when the women
tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!
The police called an ambulance,
which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa
and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.
He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table.
The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and,
as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames,
and fell through the window into the yard on top
of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and
raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to
avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes
and called in the fire department. The firemen had
started raising the fire ladder when they were
halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out
the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected
the telephones in a ten-square city block
area (but they did get the house fire out).
Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital,
the house was repaired, the dog came home,
the police acquired a new car and all was right with their
A while later they were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night.
The wife asked her husband if he thought they
should bring in their plants for the night.
And that's when he shot her.
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