Old Age Symptoms

When you like to be in a crowd because 
they keep you from falling down.

When the parts with arthritis
 are the parts that feel the best.

When your favorite section of the newspaper
 is "25 Years Ago today."

When a big evening with your friends
is sitting around comparing living wills.

When your knees buckle but your belt won't.

When your clothes go into your overnight bag
so you can fill your suitcase with pills.

When somebody you consider
an old-timer calls you and old-timer.

When your idea of a change of scenery
 is looking to the right or left.

When your back goes out more than you do.

When you want to be nostalgic
 and you can't remember anything.

When you don't care where your spouse goes,
as long as you don't have to go along.

When it takes longer to rest
than get tired.

When getting "a little action" means
you don't have to take a laxative.

There are three signs of old age.
The first is your loss of memory,
the other two I forget.

pass it to an old poop

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