What A Wreck!

The following quotations were taken from a Toronto
newspaper. They are samples of comments from individuals
wrote down on their claim forms following their auto accidents.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve several times
before I hit him.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided
with a tree I don't have.A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.   

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my
hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.    

I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when
my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. 

I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way
home. As I reached the intersection a hedge sprang up,    
obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small
car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later  
found in a ditch by some stray cows.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle,
and vanished.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law, and went over the embankment.  

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting
to swerve out of its path when it struck my vehicle.